- Pro tip: Imagine yourself without your partner
Fighting is good for relationship. Then, why you are here? If I am not wrong, than it is likely that you have done the fight or argue with your partner. Definitely the title of this article has aroused your curiosity to know a bit in detail about the fight that is good for the relationship. If title is not the reason, then Maybe you are a short tempered-person (A person who gets angry very quickly) and a tiny debate has turned your situation worse. addition to it, maybe your overthinking brain is trying to defend you from the fight. That’s why, you want to know the tips to improve relationship. Here, you will get to know the 15 proven tips to do, just after you have become the part of an argument or disagreement.
How Fighting is Good For Relationship?
There are two situations: first you argue with your partner very often and second the opposite case, maybe you do it rarely. Whether you do it a lot or not at all. It is important to know that the disagreement is very natural with the humans. And everyone isn’t capable of handling it. In fact a research published on Sage Journals indicates that “Fighting is good for a relationship or between two person. A fight with compassion improves the relationship bonding between two”
Hence, if you are someone who considers themselves mature and able to do the most thing with the partner using empathy, then you are already at the stage where you will feel the deepening in love and intimacy in your relationship.
Anyway, the point is to do the fight in the exact way you use to show your love. Below, We are listing the best 15 proven tips to improve the relationship after having a fight or argue. These given tips will turn a bad relationship into a good relationship.
15 Practical Ways To Improve Relationship
1. Don’t think to win the fight
It is very important to know that you both are in a relationship not in a battleground. Meaning of this is that. If you have done the fight then don’t think to win the argument by showing your partner that he/she is the culprit and you are the victim. A relationship is completely based upon the understanding. So do a favor and think about your partner that you both are at the same side of the boat. Try to compromise, because there are only two people, You & your partner. Hence, thinking of winning the fight with your partner is not ideal. Because it will never happen. You have to be mature enough to handle this situation by taking your first step for compromise.
2. Relax Yourself by Taking a Long Breath
After the brutal fight it may be that you have become out of control and you can’t do anything. Hence, the best thing that you can do is take a long breath. Yes! This really works. Taking a long breath fills the oxygen inside you and lowers the blood pressure. Which ideally can reduce your anger. Once you will perform the deep breathing technique you will be able to identify the whole situation with a calm mind. Doing this will help you to understand the needs of your partner. You can give more focus on the needs of your partner instead of getting angry.
3. Consider having conversation on the Issue
Talk to your partner on the issue. Avoiding this can trigger some ugly fight later. Which can become more bitter. Therefore, to avoid the next unfair ugly fight consider talking on the issue. Inform your partner regarding it and fix your time to have some words on the problem. This is the most mature and understanding approach that can fix a lot of upcoming fights too. Discussing it can help you to understand your partner a lot better and possibly the bond may become more stronger.
4. Remind your purpose
Everyone does fight, but they still stick with that person. Have you thought why? It is so, because they always remember their purpose of being in that relationship. Even you can take the example of your parents. They do fight but again a few times later they come back at the same situation they used to be. The reason behind this is that they think about their marriage and you (kids). So you have to do the same thing to find your purpose of coming in the relationship. Ask questions to yourself, Why are you in this relationship? Maybe the answer to this question will let you calm down.
5. Don’t mix the other fight together
Yes! You have read right. A lot of us make this mistake at least once. Being in a temper may lose control of the emotions. And, that emotions evoke the other fights that had happened earlier. Keep talking about earlier fights in the current ongoing issue is worthless. Even it will make the situation worse. It will become a never stoppable discussion. So, the most ideal act will be to stick with the current issue that is happening. Try to solve it instead of mixing others.
6. Imagine yourself without your partner
Imagining yourself without your partner may evoke your emotions of loss. It is a good thing to try when you have some kind of brutal disagreement and your anger is not calming down. The moment you get in that situation start reminding your life without your partner. You will feel some sorrow emotions that may melt your anger and you become normal. It happens because we all have lots of powerful and beautiful memories with our partner. That makes the bond stronger with time.
7. Take a Pause and Examine
Taking a pause and examining the situation may help a lot. Most of the fights get fuel from the past. There may be some arguments in the past that are impacting your present. So instead of being reactive to the topics. Be silent, stop yourself from answering or giving any words to the situation and think of the behaviour or situations. Try to find out the answer of the questions like why did this argument started? Why does my partner have the behavior that they have? Questions like this will put you on the right track and instead of being an active reactor to the situations you will be more likely to be calm and try to solve the issue.
8. Spend Some Time Alone, If you can’t calm down
It can also be a good option to do. If you can’t calm down yourself. Try to spend some time alone without your partner. If you are in a long distance relationship then try to away from the call for some moment and don’t spend your time on the phone anymore. Unless you calm down yourself. You can do this if you are living with your partner. Try to keep away from your partner for a few minutes or hours. This is one of the most effective ways of making your anger calm down. Because there are chances that being around your partner makes you more angry. Thus Spend some time with yourself alone.
9. Listen to Your Partner
It may not be the ideal at the time of arguing. But it can be very beneficial at the moment when you both agree to the point of having conversations on the issue. Listen to your partner, understand the point of view which is being shared with you by your partner. Listening without giving your own point of view to the topic could be a good behavior of being understanding at those moments. Let your partner pour all the thoughts that they have and then later try to analyse them.
10. Accept that you mean it
Refusing from accepting that you mean it will make your significant other more angry. So Whether you mean it or not. You have to accept the point that your words have hurt your partner in some ways that is why the argument began.
11. Don’t Share the details of argument on social media
Nowadays everyone is a social media freak that they love to share everything and anything on the internet. Please, don’t do it for your argument with your partner. Fight in a relationship is very common so avoid making an announcement of your fight. Doing this can make a trust issue in a relationship. Sharing things like this will give other people topics to gossip. Also, they will start judging your relationship. That’s why it would be better to avoid using social media to share about your argument details.
12. Don’t Force your Partner
Maybe you both have different tempers and one of you becomes very calm in a short span of time. If it happens then don’t try to force your partner to become cool as well. Give them their own time to heal from it. Everyone has different levels of frustration and irritations. Forcing your partner just after you become cool will be a silly mistake. Obviously, try to convince your partner to become cool. But don’t do it over. if he/she becomes very stubborn.
13.Don’t try to use abusive words
When we lose our tempers we mostly come up with bad words to use in the conversations. During the argument or even after the argument don’t try to use any abusive words to your partner. Using it will give your partner signals that you don’t mean for the fight or you are blaming your significant once for the fight. Using abusive words can make your partner more angry or irritated. Hence, try to avoid using it.
14. Don’t point the fingers at your partner
Pointing the fingers at others gives the message of disrespectfulness and being rude. Thus, don’t try to disrespect your partner during the disagreement conversations. It can also be considered as a blame game. So, try to avoid it. It is very easy to defend yourself and pointing out the finger to the partner to make them feel guilty. The best thing could be to make your partner feel comfortable and accepting the fact that the fight you are doing is genuine and you should work on it to resolve it.
15. Focus on the Statements
While having the discussion. Most people try to make statements like “You are the reason for something.” Don’t use the sentences like this. Instead of that try to focus on portraying your points of view in a proper manner. For instance, “Use it, ” something that happened the last time, “I“ was not feeling good to see/hear/(any incidents). Using the “I” Statements will give your partner’s brain a message that they are responsible for the reason of arguments. If they wouldn’t do that, then the fight would never begin.
Hope you enjoyed reading this blog. Always remember, Relationship fights are normal and healthy, if you do it with empathy. However, if you have faced any serious argument or if there are some chances that it could happen later. Then, don’t forget to give this post a second read, to learn dealing techniques to end up fighting in a relationship.
Share this post to your partner or friends to let them know how to deal with the fights in a relationship.
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